Friday 7 September 2012

Please keep chasing me.
Bad - that's the only word that could describe the girl's day, although it wasn't even strong enough to portray just how bad it had been. After the night before's events, she had a rough time falling asleep, and, when she did, it was only for two hours; and even those two hours were tormeting, since she'd dreamt of the mess that had taken place.
She slept for two hours, in total, and it didn't make for a very happy Danny, for sure; she had woken up at five am, for absolutely no reason, and been in bed, staring into her's sister's bunk, just thinking. Thinking of how she'd gotten herself into such deep feelings, already, that had her crying like she had. Thinking about what he could be doing, if he had talked to the other girl, how things were. Thinking about the future, thinking about the past, just thinking.
When she'd gotten up, it was three in the afternoon; she'd been awake for ten hours, but there was no way she was going back to sleep. She'd gone to the kitchen to eat, but just the smell of food was making her stomach churn in displeasure, so she didn't even try to eat anything; she'd simply gotten a glass of milk, and even that was messing up on her insides.
She wanted to cry; her breath was erratic, and she wanted to scream out in frustration, in jealousy, but she knew she couldn't. Although she was home alone, if she let out anything, she'd break down; and that, that would be really bad.
All morning, she'd been wondering if she should just break the promise she'd kept to the boy; it didn't seem to matter, anymore. She didn't do it, though; he said he wanted to fix things, to fix them, so she was giving him a chance to do it. She still believed in him, she still hoped things could turn out for the best.
«I don't know how things ended up like this... One night, everything was alright, I was happy out of my mind because I thought I had you, and the next night I was a completely mess, because you belonged to someone else...» She types, the tears once again at bay as she thought back to the state she'd been in, the night before.
«I don't think I'd realized just how strong my feelings were until that moment; I thought it was just... liking you, I guess, and liking the idea of having something with you. But, oh God, when I saw those things on your twitter, I... I don't know, it's like everything inside of me was meaningless, like nothing ever mattered anymore. And then you explained everything, and, although I was still crying, there was some hope...» She sighs as she writes this, bitting her bottom lip gently. «And I believed you when you said you wanted to fix us, because you sounded so genuine, so... hurt... I don't want you hurt, though. Far from it, actually...» She takes a deep breath, gathering her thoughts, and then continues.
«I started to regret ever telling you to speak to her about everything, because she's your best friend and I'm afraid it'll ruin your friendship, and I don't want that for you... but I feel so selfish, when it comes to you, that's it's scaring me... I feel so jealous of the other girls who get to speak to you, and I know I shouldn't, but God, I can't control it... And when you said you were facetiming her... I might've felt a tad bit envious, because I wish you could facetime me, instead of anyone else.»
Looking away from her laptop, the girl isn't quite sure about how to write down her feelings; she's confused, scared, but her heart truly beats for him, and she wants to let him know. «I... that sounded so posessive, but it's what I felt, Lewis... I like you. I really do, and I don't know what to do with this; I want to tell you everything, but I'm so afraid. I don't know what I'm afraid of, even... Being replaced? Being forgotten? I don't know...» She sighs softly, closing her eyes for a second.
«Have you ever felt a burning need to just... catch a plane, and go somewhere? Let's say... have you ever felt the need to catch a plane to see the person you care about the most, it seems?» She types down, her bottom lip being once again vandalized by her teeth. «I have... Every morning I wake up wishing I could just fly to you, to be in your arms, to smile with you... And, yesterday, when I cried, I wanted you to hold me, to comfort me, even if I was crying because of you... I don't know how to process this, but I think... I think...»

I think I'm falling in love with you, if I'm not already.


But I'll never let you freeze without me.

No comments:

Post a Comment